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"No plan survives first contact with the enemy." is a favourite saying of our resident pessimist and "bah"sayer Phil Comeau. Vacation plans are no different. I had planned to watch my kids at soccer camp, fish and get a few things done around the house. In reality I helped teach a soccer camp and did my best impression of a handyman fixing 4,291 things around the house and property. Note that I am as equipped to fix things as a snake is to win a handshaking contest. Nonetheless vacation is over and I'm back. I didn't get to go fishing very often, though Phil dropped by on the weekend to float around the lake for a couple of hours. I did get to amaze the local kids with my tomfoolery and gadgetry slight of hand.

I purchased a remote control for the electric motor on my boat and with about a dozen little soccer kids roaming around my back yard after a BBQ I pretended to let the boat drift away from our dock. The kids were screaming that the boat was floating away. I whistled for it like you would for a dog and clicked the motor into action via the remote in my pocket. The boat came back to the dock where I scolded it and tied it back up. Thanks to the gang at Quinte Fishing for telling me about that joke so that I could pull it off on my unsuspecting visitors.

Super huge, happy, fun thanks to Jeff Woleslagle for covering me on such short notice. I wish Jeff all the best at rodeo clown school this week. Go get 'em Jeff!

Segway to Jeff's contest, "Dead of Summer" where he has wrangled up $500 worth of prizes including Tabula Rasa and Pirates of the Burning Sea beta slots! Special thanks to ZBoard, NCSoft and Flying Labs Software for generously donating the prizes!

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• Blogs: Shay's Treehouse - We're Going In
  "Sometimes waiting for the next great MMO to come along invokes feelings of exasperation, not to mention impatience. Last night, Shayalyn chose to stave off the waiting game by logging onto the EverQuest progression servers. This afternoon, she waited through a monumental update, and then logged into EverQuest 2. What gives? Nostalgia seems to be spreading around the Ten Ton Hammer network, and Shay's caught the bug."
• Dungeons and Dragons Online: Arcane Ally
  "Anyone who's played Dungeons & Dragons has encountered (if not played!) a rogue/wizard combo. As we continue Week of the Arcane Master here at Ten Ton Hammer, Darkgolem thinks it is high time we applied the build to Dungeons & Dragons Online: Stormreach. So, sharpen your blades and your wits--this build requires both!"
• Dungeons and Dragons Online: Wizard or Sorcerer - You Must Choose!
  "This week is Week of the Arcane Master at DDO @ Ten Ton Hammer. We’ve got reviews of 5th level arcane spells, guides to advanced spellcasting tactics, and Custom Builds that focus on the arcane arts. What we want to know is this: If your party has only one slot empty with no casters, do you prefer a wizard or a sorcerer?"

• French Police Thwart Marijuana World Record Attempt [Thanks Matt]
  The joint effort was nearly compromised when the officers saw the white rolling paper and surrendered to the criminals.
• Man Wins Bet, Loses Penis [Thanks Matt]
  Imagine what happened to the guy who lost the bet
• Club-Wielding Chimp Sought In California
  Wayan brothers seen feverishly taking notes for next movie.
• Iran President Warns Of Hurricane In Middle-East
  Likely to be followed by tsunami.

As always, thanks for visiting TenTonHammer.com,
-- John "Boomjack" Hoskin

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