Welcome to your Thursday Loading... as we continue a week of guest hosts for Loading... in John "Boomjack" Hoskin's absence.

When he's not organizing his Star Jones memorabilia collection or jumping out of cakes dressed as a Romulan at Star Trek conventions, he's moonlighting as a community manager on our very own World of Warcraft site.

Luckily he had time to stand in for me as a guest host this week. Please welcome with your best "live long and prosper" hand gesture, David "Xerin" Piner.

---

Ahoy mateys! I be commandeering this Internet newsletter. You see, me mateys, John was asking all ye who wished to participate in writing for the Internet and I volunteered me services. He laughed as he swigged his rum down and declined me offer. Alas, a saber and a few backflips later he changed his mind and be writing for ye today!

Alright, enough horrid pirate talk and on to today's booty! Pirates themes in MMORPGs have taken an unfair amount of time to catch on to my amazement. If we look at made up statistics, 40% of all MMORPGs are about ninjas, while 20% are made up of people faking to be ninjas, and 50% are retelling the faithful story of King Arthur but with more emphasis on leveling up compared to the tragic story of love and passion. Nowhere in these percentages do you see pirates!

While we are just now getting our first two full fledged, North American-orientated pirate MMORPGs, the entire pirate theme has been lacking in all MMORPGs ever released. The first thing I remember remotely involving pirates is Dark Age of Camelot's Dwarf race. The Dwarfs had one model that had a scar and an eyepatch. That was pretty much the limit of pirates up until then.

It wasn't until World of Warcraft that the pirate theme really took on, even if it was an extremely small portion of the overall content. Several locations (by several I mean two) within the game host pirate ships and pirate encampments. These locations feature full fledged pirates who loot and plunder and even shout "yarrr" as you pull them! This is wonderful except that the pirates are your enemies. If you know anything about MMORPGs then you know that anything not allied with the hero generally ends up dieing.

Although, really, do pirates have a place in any game where a Druid, a person attuned to the land, jumps on a pirates boat and begins slaying the entire crew? You'd think pirates would have some better role then taking a player from level thirty two to thirty three.

There is one redeeming characteristic of the WoW pirates that I applaud the developers on. You can actually "join" the Bloodsail Buccaneers! If you betray the Goblins at Booty Bay and begin to slay their bruisers then you’ll eventually become friendly with the Bloodsail Buccaneers. Should you become friendly then you will be able to take up a quest from the captain! The reward is a snazzy pirates hat and the inability to set foot in the neutral Goblin cities. Of course, you can regain that faction by slaying pirates, but who would do that?

Luckily, pirates are becoming more and more accepted within the MMORPG circle of happy friends. Upcoming MMOGs Pirates of the Burning Sea and Disney's Pirates of the Caribbean Online both feature, you guessed it, pirates! More and more games are also adding in pirate attire and even celebrating international talk like a pirate day -September 19th, if you were wondering.

There is a bright future ahead for pirates in online games. Move over ninjas, the swashbucklers are finally taking a firm grip in the MMORPG market. Seriously though, the whole flipping around thing with knives and daggers can only be cool so long, as entertaining as it is.

---

Exclusive new TenTonHammer.com Content! Let us entertain you or at the very least waste some of your time at work.

10.25.2006 Exclusive Content

• Dungeons & Dragons Online : Module 3 Launch Screenshots
  "Released just yesterday, Module 3 for Dungeons & Dragons Online: Stormreach brings 40% more content to the original game, plus auctionhouses (finally!) and extensive PvP to the game. Equally welcome is some warm hues and desert scenery to help you dry out from the dampness in and under the port-of-origin for DDO players - the city of Stormreach. Take a look!"
• Dungeons & Dragons Online : Quest Database Expands
  "The gold-free DDO Quest Database at Ten Ton Hammer continues to grow! Tonight's addition is a popular quest from the Wayward Lobster, "Information is Key."
• Vanguard : Saga of Heroes - Thursday Forum Roundup
  "Another week, another official forum roundup. Aunraye has gathered a bunch of topics from the official Vanguard forums that are interesting, informative, or just plain fun. This week we're talking about the Raki (fox people), team crafting, gnome punting and the Great Pumpkin. Check it out! And if you'd rather not venture into the official forums, come post on our kinder, gentler forums instead."

---

Vin Diesel Fact of the Day - Phase one of our national security plan for dealing with North Korea is to airdrop Vin Diesel behind the DMZ. There is no phase two.

---

Now from the real world. You can't make this stuff up.

• Pelican Swallows Pidgeon Whole in London Park (Thanks John!)
  Metro mayors place orders; conspiracy theorists suspect pelican farming industry hoax.
• Parents Furious Over F- Word Dropping Cop Toy
  Today's inappropriate kids toy brought to you by Toys R Us Inc.
• Brisbane Homes Evacuated Due to Possibility of Exploding Fish
  Al-Qaeda "hatches" new plan for coastal attacks, jihadists praise "holy mackerel".
• Miami Firefighters Quench Trailer Fire Fed by 1,000 lb. Toilet Paper Roll
  Investigators say either teenage prank or Mexican food is to blame.
• Principal Suspended 6 Days for Giving Student a Wedgie
  Eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth, suspension for a suspension.

As always, thanks for visiting TenTonHammer.com,

-- John "Boomjack" Hoskin and guest host David "Xerin" Piner