Welcome to your Thursday Loading... You can read previously enjoyed editions of Loading... in the blog archive. (For the navigation impaired that means you click the link and then look in the right menu.)

The 464th edition of Loading... is brought to you by...Nobody. This space for rent!
The most read stories in the last edition of Loading... were:

1. An Updated Look at Vanguard (MMOG News Headlines)
2. Vanguard Beta Key Giveaway (TenTonHammer Exclusives)
3. Vanguard: Trivial Loot Code (TenTonHammer Exclusives)
4. Burning Crusade First Look (TenTonHammer Exclusives)
5. Burning Crusade: The Underbog (TenTonHammer Exclusives)

Now back to your regularly scheduled programming.

With my family trip to Disney World over you will once again be subjected to the frivolous tripe that I conjure out of the nothingness that is my well of humour each day.

It's strange how we as human beings tend to relate situations that we don't understand especially well to matters that we know a great deal about. I was constantly comparing what Disney was doing in their theme parks and resorts to what MMOGs should be doing. Let's face it, where else in the world would you stand, grinning like a half-witted simpleton, encouraging grown men dressed in furry animal costumes hug your children? The answer is nowhere.

So why do we foster this behaviour at Disney World? The answer is simple; it makes our children feel special. They twinkle like miscreant glow-worms when Tigger throws his striped arm around their shoulders. They giggle like tickle-me-elmo on a sugar-rush when Piglet gives them a hug. If Disney can spawn rapturous joy from the hug of a pig, a creature which if found in any other location would be considered a filthy, foul-smelling beast, then marketing genius was at work, and I intended to get to the bottom of it.

I needed only be in the theme park for 20 minutes or so to find my answer. My family and I were walking down "Main Street U.S.A." in Magic Kingdom when we were accosted by a pair of Disney employees or "cast members" as they prefer to be called. I was raising my hands, shooing them away, claiming that I had enough long distance savings, photographs of myself next to the bronze statue of Walt himself and time share opportunities for my liking, when they blurted out the words that I least expected, "Would your family like to ride in the fire engine and lead the parade?"

I don't know how many families wander through Disney parks in a day. It's surely thousands and likely tens of thousands, yet somehow they had managed to make my family feel special.

We returned to our appointed spot later in the day where the characters who would participate in the parade greeted my children individually, without the press of crowds or a lineup. We boarded the fire engine where my children had a few minutes to spend away from the milling mobs with Pluto, the Grand Marshall of the parade.
After the time with Pluto one of the Disney cast members handed us each an American flag. We were asked to wave these as we were paraded, literally, down the main street. They were a bit shocked when I told them that I wasn't American at all, but was born and raised a Canadian. They seemed to be all out of Canadian flags and I couldn't think of a song that included Wayne Gretzky, Yankees, doodles and dandies so I latched on the Stars and Stripes and gave it a twirl.

Anyone who reads this column regularly knows that I'm a Canadian who truly likes America and Americans in general. Waving a U.S. flag isn't something that I would normally do, but I didn't mind doing it and it was the "clean and polite" thing to do. We Canadians are nothing if not clean and polite. Just ask, Dan Aykroyd, Jim Carrey, Dave Foley, Tom Green, Eugene Levy, Howie Mandel, Rick Moranis, Mike Myers, Martin Short, Dave Thomas, Brent Butt, Norm Macdonald, Leslie Nielsen, William Shatner or a host of other Canadians who walk among Americans, undetected, waiting for their moment to be asked to wave an American flag. We are just like Americans, only you don't always get our jokes, oh and we skate faster, and refer to canines as dogs and not dawgs. Those differences aside, it's hard to tell us apart. I guarantee that none of the milling masses that formed the crowds down main street knew that they were being hoodwinked by a family of Canadians. Women were winking at me as I trundled down the road atop the shiny red engine, and trust me, they don't that do that every day here in Canada, unless they have something in their eye or are being tazered.

But I've left the textual track that I was leading you down. The point that I have been so slovenly trying to make is that at Disney they make you feel special. I can't think of any MMOGs currently on the market that instill in the player that they are exceptional, noteworthy, remarkable or even uncommon. If one of the current MMOGs fixed in you the feeling that you were significant, even if it was only in a virtual world, you wouldn't be reading this, you'd be playing the game.

Everquest once held that ability squarely in its binary hands. Players felt wonder, awe, fear and many if not all felt important even though they were the cookie cutter replica of everyone else who happened to choose the same class.

With reduced risk (corpse retrieval, death penalties) came reduced rewards. Worlds (Norrath in EQLive) became games (Norrath in EQ2). With reduced rewards came a reduced feeling of worth, a reduced feeling of value, a reduced feeling of significance. Many players asked for a more casual game experience, developers delivered, World of Warcraft is a tremendous success, but in the end, something that was integral to making the games special was lost.

Am I conjuring up problems that aren't really there or is something missing, something that gives you a feeling of significance within the current crop of MMOGs?

Don't forget to post in our forums or at the bottom of this blog. If you are shy (or female and sending in naughty pictures) you can E-Mail me.

Every good guild needs a home. A home free of gold ads and secondary market farmers. Look no further than GuildPortal.com.

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Exclusive new TenTonHammer.com Content!
Let us entertain you or at the very least waste some of your time at work.11.16.2006 Exclusive Content

• Op/Ed: Settling The Score - What An Online Shooter Can Teach MMOGs
  "I started playing Battlefield 2142 last weekend. Before you make me rescind my Society for the Advancement of MMORPGs membership card, let me first say that I absolutely, totally stink. You see, I didn't just start playing Battlefield 2142 last weekend, I started playing Battlefield last weekend. As in, any game that abbreviation-prone gamers shorten to "bf". Apparently this counts for a lot; the Battlefield 2 players all have a little "2" next to their name on certain screens, and if you don't have a "two", you immediately become the number "one" target."
• Op/Ed: Backing Into The Future
  "This week, writers across the Ten Ton Hammer network confront the question of how best to handle expansions. Are free (or more accurately, "included in the subscription price") micro-updates enough to satisfy gamers in those dry periods between release and subsequent pay-to-play expansions? Or is a more radical solution like subscription-free Guild Wars' semi-annual re-release the way to go? We'll begin by looking at the advantages and disadvantages of new content, then I'll show you the most common timetables for post-release among MMOs, then we'll discuss whether or not there's a better way."
• Age of Conan: Screenshots
  "When you think Age of Conan: Hyborian Adventures (official site), you probably think of muscle-bulging barbarians rather than a toppled Medo-Persian fortress. Nevertheless, ruins is what Funcom was giving out, so it's ruins we have for you!"
• Chronicles of Spellborn: Trailer
  "If you've got the time, the hi-res version is well worth it. This is one spectacular looking MMORPG, and the soundtrack is exquisite."
• Dark Age of Camelot: Screenshots
  "How many games originally released in 2003 are you still playing? Dark Age of Camelot, the game that brought PvP to MMORPGs, is still going strong on the eve of its seventh expansion, "Labyrinth of the Minotaur." Last month, we featured enough LotM content to sink the Argo"
• Dungeons and Dragons Online: Dwarvish Bulwark
  "Long before fighter/paladin/rogue builds were all the rage in Dungeons & Dragons Online, Darkgolem submitted his Dwarvish Bulwark as part of a week of "Killer Builds" here at DDO @ Ten Ton Hammer. Now he's updated that build to show us how to take it to the new level cap."
• Dungeons and Dragons Online: The Content Debate
  "When discussing micro-content vs. expansion packs, the debate is not which one is better because each one serves a specific purpose and has its own place in the life cycle of the game. The debate revolves around which one the community feels is more appropriate to the game and the needs of the players."
• Dungeons and Dragons Online: Forgotten Caverns Quest Guide
  "For this quest, make friends with a arcane caster who likes to use fire spells. They work wonders against the many trolls you'll face. "
• Dungeons and Dragons Online: Guide To Fighter Feats
  "The biggest bonus of being a fighter is the amount of Feats available. This luxury becomes a chore when the uninitiated player tries to sort through so many choices. Some of those possible Feats are good, some are OK if you have room and want to be better at something outside the fighter's box, and some are utterly useless. One bad pick can ultimately break a fighter's ability in Dungeons & Dragons Online (DDO). We have rated the Feats below based on our experience as to which are going to be most helpful and useful. Like the other DDO guides at Ten Ton Hammer, we use a scale of 1 to 5, with 5 being best."
• Dungeons and Dragons Online: Bragging Rights - Keeping Score In MMOs
  "In many ways, the enjoyment I cull from massively-multiplayer online games (MMOs) results from tracking numbers. I like tweaking my character stats, whether it's to optimize them (like I did when designing my Master Thief) or to skew them for role-playing purposes (as I did with my Stormcaller sorcerer). I derive pleasure from watching my damage numbers in combat. I calculate which is the fastest method of gaining XP, the most mana-efficient spells, and my rate of attack with a one-handed weapon vs. a 2-hander. Yeah, I'm pretty obsessed with numbers. So why am I bugging over the player-vs-player (PvP) Leaderboards in Dungeons & Dragons Online (DDO)?"
• EverQuest 2: Return To Castle Mistmoore -Coyote
  "A large cat man holding a microphone stands before an imposing castle. The ancient stone dwelling is accented by two large wooden doors that serve as a backdrop for the Kerran. Hefting his microphone nervously, he looks into the camera."
• EverQuest 2: Is Bigger Better?
  "Ahh...The universal debate of whether or not bigger is indeed, better. I have a love of most things bigger. Bigger cars (I drive an SUV), bigger men (I'm a tall girl, they need to be at least as tall as I am), bigger televisions (projection screen TV FTW!!). But for my gaming content, I'm not so sure if I'm a fan of the idea that bigger is better."
• Gods and Heroes: Please, Sir, May I Have Some More?
  "So what do you do when you've reached "the end" of that totally awesome game you're playing? You've reached the level cap. You've maxed out your crafting abilities. You've beaten EVERY major mob in the game. You've hit every zone. Now what?"
• Huxley: Official Trailer
  "If you can get past the English boarding school-sounding name to take a look at Huxley, this game might satisfy that white-knuckle gaming urge like the RPG in MMORPG titles can't. Here's our first in-game look at Webzen's MMOFPS (FPS meaning first-person shooter), and here's hoping Huxley has the online framework and character development depth to match its refreshing fast pace and good looks."
• Lord of the Rings Online: Preview
  "Fast forward to November 2006. Thousands of beta testers now find themselves existing in Middle-earth. By most accounts, Turbine has a hit on their hands. My own experiences in their world have been very positive for the most part and I am in San Francisco to see how the game is progressing. The following review/preview is based on the version of the game that was shown to us last week at the press event."
• Myst Online: Uru Live Screenshots
  "Our newest batch of screens was sent to us by GameTap and Cyan Productions, makers of the sociable puzzler MMO Myst Online: Uru Live. In possibly the most creative business model choice to-date, GameTap aims to offer subscriptions to Myst Online: Uru Live to its US GameTap subscribers. Gamers get access to all the games and media GameTap has to offer for the price of admission to Myst Online, or vice versa. MO:UL also has a free, scaled back "Visitor" option too."
• Vanguard: Saga of Heroes - Beta Preview / Cleric Guide
  "Looking forward to playing a cleric in Vanguard: Saga of Heroes? We've got a complete compendium to the Vanguard cleric filled with great information direct from Vanguard's beta 3. You won't find much of this information anywhere else but Ten Ton Hammer!"
• Vanguard: Saga of Heroes - Beta Preview / Gnomish Cleric
  "If our exclusive screenshots of Vanguard: Saga of Heroes gnomes have you ready to take on the roll of a short, industrious creature of the earth...then you've got to check out Zinn's guide to playing a gnome in the starting city of Mekalia. Sigil has given us the nod to show you some juicy inside beta information about gnomes, and gnomish clerics in particular. Our guide tells all from spells to quests and beyond. Check it out for a preview of what you can expect from Vanguard!"
• Vanguard: Saga of Heroes - Ask The Devs
  "What makes the developers consider changing things about the game? If they have an original plan, what makes them go off that plan and in a different direction? Is it fan criticism, or beta testing, or something else?"
• Vanguard: Saga of Heroes - Beta Crafting Preview
  "A few Fridays ago I was lucky enough to receive my beta invite to Vanguard Saga of Heroes. After many minutes of wondering if this was a hoax or some cruel joke it dawned on me that at long last I had actually gotten into beta. I immediately registered the key and began the download. While downloading I became quite afraid that Vanguard would not live up to my hopes and that maybe all the angry posters claiming beta leaks were right. By the time the download was finished it I was quite scared to start the game. It was also getting late and almost time for me to go to sleep. I thought for all of about 5 seconds about going to sleep and starting on Saturday. Nervously, I made a character and entered the world with the intention of doing some crafting tonight and then adventuring the next day."
• Vanguard: Saga of Heroes - Explore With McQuaid And Butler
  "Sony Online Entertainment and Sigil Games Online today released a narrated video tour of "Vanguard: Saga of Heroes" complete with in-depth commentary by creators Brad McQuaid and Jeff Butler. The approximately 20-minute demo showcases the freedom available to players in Vanguard and highlights features such as deep character customization, player-created housing and ships, massive adventure areas, and visually spectacular combat."
• Warhammer Online: Keeping Score
  "People are jerks. It’s a plain fact that really shows in environments where people get together and thus it really shows up in MMO’s. People enjoy spiting one another over the simplest of things and it seems to be even sweeter if it’s people you don’t know; thus scoreboards. Dating back to those old FPS games you used to play back when you were a ‘wee gamer child’ the scoreboard lets you know who’s on top of the heap when it comes to total score. Now the inevitable question needs to be asked; does Warhammer Online need a scoreboard? As a game that’s based around PvP and players engaged in combat, it seems obvious that something will be needed, but let’s go over the finer points of the scoreboard system shall we?"
• World of Warcraft:: Hunter Guide Update
  "The name “Hunter” may make you think of someone who sets out to hunt wild beasts but that isn’t all this class does. The Hunter class is basically your Ranger type class but with more wilderness survival abilities to go along with their ranged fighting. Hunters use a variety of skills to create traps, track down enemies, feign their own deaths, control beasts, and deal devastating amounts of damage from their bows or guns."
• World of Warcraft: Expansion Rate - WoW or Blah?
  "This week I set my critical eye on the expansion rate of WoW. What I want to look at is the general expansion rate of WoW now that we have a set day for the first official expansion. How has World of Warcraft expanded or grown since its release up to this point? How has the community reacted to the expansion rate? Will the community remain happy if this expansion rate continues? All these questions and more looked at…"
• World of Warcraft: Rogue Guide Update
  "The Rogue class mixes together melee combat, stealth, and fast speeds to create an impressive fighter that relies on his or her damage above all else. Often times you may find Rogues hiding within the shadows, leaping out at their opponents, disabling their special abilities, and launching fast successive attacks weapons in each hand. That's right, if there was something similar to a Ninja in World of Warcraft the Rogue would be it."
• World of Warcraft: Early Loot In The Burning Crusade
  "The big question on everyone’s mind over the last few weeks, is exactly how good is the loot from the Burning Crusade? For many players the question is even more specific than that, How good is the loot right away. By this we mean how good is it in the first few instances."

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Vin Diesel Fact of the Day - Vin Diesel doesn't wait in lines. Lines wait for him.

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Now from the real world. You can't make this stuff up.

• Burger King Sued Over 'Pot' Burgers [Thanks John]
  Meth fries and a frosty hash shake round out the junkie-food combo.
• 8 Important Lessons Learned From '80s Cartoons [Thanks Phil]
  All hail our vehicle transforming robotic overlords!
• Console War: Nintendo vs Sony vs Microsoft [Thanks Darren]
  A plumber, an Elf and Master Chief. Who do you think will win?
• China Builds A Better Internet [Thanks Matt]
  Available in "Mighty Dollar Stores" worldwide.
• Aliens Could Attack At Any Time [Thanks Matt]
  Send $19.99 to Loading for your official tinfoil hat. Supplies limited.
• Men Who Stay Trim Live Longer [Thanks Phil]
  Still questions as to whether dogs bark, birds fly.

As always, thanks for visiting TenTonHammer.com,
-- John "Boomjack" Hoskin