of the Coin
by Aunraye
Is this game safe? Is it too violent? What does this mean? I'm not sure you
should play this game. I've heard all of those over the years
most
of them from my mother, whom I adore and love but, I must say, is not
a computer person. Most things she knows about computers she learned from
me. That's not to say she isn't smart because she is, but she just doesn't
use or deal with computers much. I've been playing some sort of computer
game probably since I was about ten and my cousins got their first computer.
To many that sounds old since it wasn't even my computer but I am old
enough to say I grew up in an age where computers weren't necessary untill
you needed them for school, which was closer to the high school years.
Ratings on games have evolved in the 12 years that I have been playing
games, and they do provide parents with help in figuring out what games
are best for their children. However, nothing compares to good old-fashioned
experience and communication. My mother probably doesn't even know that
games are rated. She has never commented on any rating on a game, but
she has on everything else, from movies to music. So it seems like that
I could have slipped any kind of game by her or my dad, right? Not on
your life!
When I was younger, not only was the only computer the family computer, which we kept in the living room, but my parents usually sat by my side at some
point and watched me play the game. As I got older, that faded a bit,
nor did they find it necessary to watch me try out every version of each
game. Once they approved of, say, the Sims, they didn't need to approve
of its multitudinous versions or expansions. I will say, though, that
they did have things to say on that! My father's most memorable comment
was probably, "He has to get naked!" What they would think of
the Sims2 having a baby feature is probably more direct. However, I am
also now an adult of 22 who can handle such a thing without the same concerns
they would have for their 14-year-old daughter. It doesn't mean they'd
like it, but they also accept that I'm older and more mature now.
I live in their house; I follow their rules. How many times has
every teen heard that and hated those words? I know I have in my time.
Sometimes I still do! Despite that, when not in my college dorm, I live
in my parents' house, which means they see my games and they judge them.
Could they truly stop me now, or even most teens, from buying a game that
was above their personal limits on what's appropriate? Probably, in the
long run, they couldn't. However, my parents have always talked to me
about my games--to understand them and decide if they approve or not.
When
I played EverQuest at home in front of my mother for the first time as
a recent college graduate, my mother repeatedly asked me if I did anything
besides attack these ugly things. She didn't know the point of the game,
nor what I was attacking. To her it seemed that I was spending hours and
my hard-earned money to beat up some nasty monster over and over. I explained
to her I was just gathering some experience and that there were other
things I did. She seemed to better understand my attraction to the game
after that. She expressed similar concerns with Knights of the Old Republic
as well. Did I do nothing but fight Dark Jedi all day? Sadly, in some
ways her judgment there was a bit more accurate. KOTOR is much more all
about fighting than some other games.
It wasn't that I was an angel who never played anything that might be
above her maturity level in her parents' eyes. It was simply that my parents
watched what I played and talked to me about the concerns they had as
they came up. We never had a fight about a computer game. There were even
times when I agreed with my parents that something wasn't really for me.
My parents would probably never approve of a game like Grand Theft Auto.
This doesn't mean it's a bad game, but from their perspective it's not
something they approve of. In that case, knowing what they like and dislike
in games, I would agree and never bring that game into their home, and
probably not into mine.
As
a babysitter I encountered many parents with problems figuring out what
to do with this problem. A two-year-old who played nothing but James Bond
on a Nintendo system bothered his parents, but they didn't know how to
fix the problem. In this case, the answer was to get a separate system
just for him that had games for his age, things that taught him shapes,
colors, and math. That was something that worked out well for them, since
my parents had my old Nintendo with just such games. It wasn't that they
understood ratings on games, but they knew what they thought, after watching,
and whether it was appropriate for their two-year-old son. They didn't
think James Bond was, but they didn't feel it necessary to deprive their
older son of the game since it wasn't truly bloody or gory. It was merely
about age, maturity, and personal preference.
Knowing what you should or shouldn't play is something that most teens
can figure out for themselves. It's certainly something that I, at 22,
am capable of. However, it doesn't mean that parents shouldn't be involved.
Talking to their children with an open mind and truly listening to what
it is they like about the game is a great way to learn something about
your children and to bond.
This
kind of attitude is also what recently got my father hooked on Caesar
3 and years ago myself on Red Alert. We shared the gaming experience and
therefore had more fun playing. It was something we could talk about and
compare to one another, a game that we could help each other with and
bond over. There are many games I play that he will never play and vice
versa, but there are very few games I play that he has never seen played,
if any. The communication about games we enjoy or games we chose not to
play for any reason helps us to get along much better and to learn something
about one another. Despite the fact that there were times I wanted my
parents to leave me alone, I matured and learned to appreciate their input.
Even though they were by no means gamers or computer people, they were
able to keep things appropriate in a way that helped us to bond.
Editor's Note: Wild West
Girls photo courtesy of Aunraye. Used by permission.
How did your parents work with you and gaming?
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