Back to School!

How Vanguard Makes us Newbs Again

by Medeor

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Today
across the Ten Ton Hammer network we're going back to school and
talking about the newbie experiences in our favorite games. Since our
favorite game here at Vanguard Ten Ton Hammer hasn't launched yet (and
we don't know much about how the game will treat the average newb),
Medeor opted to take a humorous look at how Vanguard might treat
newcomers (and that means all of us who weren't lucky enough to beta
test the game) at launch. Are you ready, class? Let's begin.

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Good Evening Class!



Welcome to our premier event for Back to School Week, namely the Meet
the Teacher Night here at The Vanguard Academy for Little Buddies. My
name is Grand Master Medeor (not to be confused with Grand Master
Flash, our founding grand master of funk) and I’ll be your teacher.
This is the perfect point in the year to evaluate your coming time in
Vanguard, and to see how we can best make it productive for you and me.



You are entering Vanguard Elementary School. Someday, if you’re smart
enough and brave enough, you will graduate to Vanguard Mid-Level
School, then move on to Vanguard End-Game Raid High School and then,
should you choose and should your progress warrant it, ultimately
you’ll make it to Vanguard Post-Graduate Expansion Pack. But let’s not
get src="http://vanguard.tentonhammer.com/files/gallery/albums/article-illustrations/welcome_class.thumb.jpg"
style="width: 149px; height: 150px;" align="left" hspace="4" vspace="2">ahead
of ourselves.  We are here today to talk about the basics, and to
prepare you to start your schooling on the right foot.



I have very basic expectations for your first days here at the Vanguard
Academy.  During this very exciting time we will focus on the
three Rs: Realms, Reputation and Recuperation. You need to make choices
with your life; you may as well start with these.



Realms



Realms in Vanguard are actually called Shards, but Shard doesn’t start
with R and it “shaRd” would be a stretch, so we’ll use the terms
interchangeably. Realms are where we place you so you may be with
like-minded individuals.  



If you fight amongst your classmates, we have a special realm for you
called the Time-Out Realm, or in technical terms, the PvP (for People
versus People or Player versus Player) Realm.  In this Time-Out
Realm you are free to wallop your enemies and maybe even your friends.
Think of it as a bounce-house with swords. We hope we won’t need to use
this realm, but if you’re a hellraiser there may be one with your name
on it.



For the rest of the class, those who can keep their hands to
themselves, we will be using the PvE or Player versus Environment
realms. In these realms we all stick together, help our friends and
classmates as we take a stand against the tyranny and injustice of the
bad guys, and let them know that bullies won’t be tolerated.



Reputation



Just like big kid school your reputation counts here. Make sure you are
popular with all of the hip people who can make your life easier. 
Reputation may not give you a lot of tangible benefits like free lunch,
but a bad reputation will preclude you having access to the best this
school can offer. If you want to go to the spring Dwarven Dungeon
Dance, then you better make sure you have the best reputation you can
gather with the Dungeon Dwarves. They have src="http://vanguard.tentonhammer.com/files/gallery/albums/article-illustrations/no_bullies.thumb.jpg"
style="width: 114px; height: 113px;" align="right" hspace="4"
vspace="2"> an exclusive list of invitees and if they don’t know you
(or like you), they may not let you in.  



We’re still not sure who the really cool kids are going to be, so
you’ll just have to figure that out on your own. By the way, those
people who want to put your head in a sinking galleon and give you a
swirlie are not your friends. Just say no!



Recuperation



Ahhh…rest and relaxation.  The cornerstone to any nice day
is taking some time off to put your feet up and just chill out,
right?  Well, surprise! You are not
here to relax, little mister or missy--you are here to work.
This means you will only rest the bare minimum required to continue on
your way.



And since we don’t teach you how to cook here at the Vanguard Academy
for little tykes, you’re on your own when it comes to lunch. Don't even
think about being a wise acre and trying to catch your lunch in the
rivers, because fishing is off limits for now.  If you prove that
you won’t hurt yourself with a big stick or a treble hook, we may learn
fishing in Graduate Expansion Pack School, or if you’re really lucky in
the summer school Update Patch.



Think mommy and daddy are going to keep buying you spiffy new duds?
Think again! You’re going to have to get busy if you want stylish
clothes. You can either learn to make your own clothes, or go kill bad
guys and steal their stuff.



Remember, this school is to prepare you for later life--we’re not here
to coddle you.  If you were looking for the Vanguard Day Spa, you
missed your turn. We expect you to clean up after yourself and if you
make a mess in your classmates’ areas, well then we’ll take a little
off of your grade. Don’t worry, you can make it up, but if you mess up
too often we’ll hold you back and make you do this grade over.



I hope that your experience here at Meet the Teacher Night has been a
joyous one, and I so look forward to seeing all of your bright shiny
faces on the first day of school.