Billy the Kid Evil Burlap Doll of Doom!!

Oh Billy, you pain in the rear.

by Paul "SLiDE" Shortt

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If you have ventured inside of Nek castle, you almost surely have run into this mob before, but only players who have tried to complete the Heritage Quest “A Missing Mask” truly know the heartburn that comes from Billy and his role in that accursed keep.

Billy is small in stature and not very impressive looking wrapped together in what could only be considered some sort of light brown burlap material. Perhaps his skin was once potato sacks. He (assuming it actually is a he) only stands about 3 feet tall. His features are pretty plain with two buttons for eyes and an equally sized button for a mouth giving him a creepy, hollow look. The doll’s head is wobbly stitched to the rest of the body in the shape of an upside-down triangle. When he runs, the strands of thread on his triangular head tousle from side to side like cornstalks blown about by a strong headwind. I personally get creeped out by dolls sitting on someone’s dresser, staring lifelessly at the walls, so you can imagine the chills that run up my spine when Billy jumps up to attack.

This creature, as it currently stands, is a rare pop. Some may disagree with me, but I have some major time sunk into trying to kill these horrid dolls in the order that the quest asks. Hold on a second. :: looks in his quest journal :: Just as I thought! I STILL haven’t completed this quest. CURSE YOU BILLY!!

The Missing Mask quest requires that you kill this heroic, triple up, doll starting under Elise’s bedroom in the basement. This is usually no problem. Billy loves it down there. It’s a dark, dank place with a handful of evil strongboxes for company. It’s the perfect place for any animated pillow.

The second portion of this quest asks adventurers to seek and destroy Billy in the game room. Unfortunately Billy isn’t always up for playing games. In true, infamous, celebrity-like fashion, Billy won’t show up if he doesn’t want to. Some have claimed that running back and forth between the chapel and the game room, killing the mobs within, actually helps gain Billy’s attention. I disagree. I’ve been in many different groups and we’ve tried everything but camping him for more than an hour, which I’ve heard could actually take up to 4 hours and beyond. The Billy that resides in the chapel is no different. The stupid doll only shows up when it suits his fancy.

I can’t say that I blame the poor… thing. Every day, adventurers new and old come into his home looking to turn the mini monster into an oversized pincushion. If it were me, I’d stay out of sight for as long as possible too.

There is actually a 4th Billy that I haven’t mentioned yet. IF and only if you destroy the first 3 dolls, you will be sent off to find a final doll in the courtyard of the twisted castle. By hailing the creepy sack of hay, you will need to give this pocketless wonder 5 hard earned gold. I’m sure he doesn’t make quite as much as the Gigglegibber Goblin, but I’m sure he has a nice mountain of gold stashed somewhere in that castle. I don’t know what he does with all of it, but I’m sure it covers all repairs to his floppy, fragile body.

There is supposed to be a trick to finding or popping the Billy that you need. Having a scout along can help save time. If you have not killed the Everling sisters for the locket quest, then you and your group may exit and enter Nek Castle as many times as needed without being locked out. By doing this, you are essentially refreshing the zone and Billy may actually be where you need him. Is it a form of cheating? Well, I prefer the word, shortcut. However, I have done this with a number of groups, zoning in and out, in and out, with absolutely nothing to show for it. I believe we once tried 15 consecutive times, with one of our group mates on dial up. :: shudder :: It was so very painstaking and a giant waste of time in the end. We did not have a scout to using tracking so there was one volunteer who ran back and forth between the game room and the entrance looking to see if he had spawned.

Billy the mob isn’t really all that difficult to defeat and with a decent group will go down pretty fast. I don’t remember him casting anything special, nor do I remember him resisting anything in particular. His claim to fame is his difficult nature in showing up to play at the appropriate times.

If you’re out and about and decide to visit Nek castle, please say hi to Billy for me. I’m certainly overdue for another frustrating visit.