Hell hath no fury....

Like a woman mocked.

by Kiara

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So. I'm a girl. A rather girlie girl at that. Which is not to say that I'm one of those "Omg there's a shoe sale!" girls, or anything like that. I own a grand total of six pairs of shoes (one of those is a pair of flip flops). I rarely wear makeup. I hate to shop. If I can't buy it online, half the time it isn't really necessary. I had the record for the most crawdads caught, and the record for highest tree climb. My barbies didn't marry G.I. Joe... But I'm still fairly girlie.

One expression of this is that I make all my characters pretty. Without exception. If I can't make her pretty, she gets deleted. Which means, that currently I've got Dark Elves (which are ALWAYS hot omg) and a Half Elf or two (although, they aren't really long for this world). I spend a good deal of time making sure that my Dark Elf is appealing and attractive. Like to the point where if I were a guy, I'd so do her.

Why is it that I have this irrational insistence on prettiness? That's a good question. It could be my inner chick trying to fight her way out from the tom boyishness of my youth and the geekiness of my adulthood. It could just be that not being terribly attractive in real life, I make myself as drop dead sexy as possible in my fantasy life. I really don't know, and if you wanna, you'll have to ressurect Freud. Just make sure you use the Templar rez, cause it gives back full health. * nod *

There's a point to all this random maundering. Here it is. My armour? Not pretty. No knock to the artists, they're all fabulous people. And really, let's face it, there's only so much one can do to make plate look pretty, ya know? It's an inevitability of life (like taxes) that my armour is going to be butt-ugly. I accept this.

Then the guild reached level 30. You all know what this means, don't you? No? Status clothing. And not just ANY status clothing either. The pretty guild level 30 blue hoochie mama dress. It's HOT. Like h-a-w-t, hot. Woohoo! Go me. First thing I did when we leveled to 30 was run on over to the city merchant and get one.

Best thing about the dress? Not only is it blue and pretty and all kinds of hoochie. It takes up ONE clothing slot and changes ALL YOUR GRAPHICS. (Now, don't get me wrong. I love the guild level 20 dress as well. It's gorgeous. White with gold chains across the belly and stuff like that. Seriously gorgeous, but it takes up two armour slots and leaves all the rest of your ugly armour visible. Eww.) So, this is the answer to my prayers. I can wear this, sacrificing my chest piece (which, incidently doesn't really make that big a difference in my stats), and be pretty and still have all the rest of my armour on. So what if I didn't have a belly button until LU 24. That's okay! (Oh and to whomever gave me the belly button... thanks. Really... I was starting to feel like a freak.)

So, I should be blissful and this should be the end of my story right? Well of COURSE not. Cause how stupid and boring would that be? No, no. There's more.

Someone tells you, "Why aren't you wearing armour?"

....

Someone else tells you, "That's a really pretty dress and all, but could you put on some armour for the raid?"

....

Some other person tells the raid, "Hey, Kiara. You look really pretty in that dress and all, but it isn't the safest thing to wear."

That last one happened the other night as we were headed into the Labs. My response? Yeah, you guessed it. Dot dot dot. By this time, my friends and guildmates know my reaction to these questions about my armour or lack thereof. Moreover, they find the whole thing bloody hysterical. So their reactions when the *mutter* lovely person questioned my armour? There was ducking, diving for the bunker, and someone was even nice enough to get the women and children out. And in Ventrilo? (This is a voice chat program similar to TeamSpeak, just fyi.) Laughter. Gales of it. PEALS of it.

I immediately sent a very close friend a tell. "You TOLD him to say that, didn't you?????"

"No, I didn't. I swear to god." I think he wet himself about then he was laughing so hard.

....

So glad I can amuse.

Needless to say, I'm in the market for a new guild and a new set of friends. They'll never find the bodies...