Ten Ton Hammer - Taking MMO Gamers to the Next Level!

In the past, I've found there are those rare times a game can fight past its less than favorable impressions during an initial preview and show that underneath its rough exterior, lies a gem of bedazzling beauty. I hate to break it to the Eudemons Online developers, but even after spending more time with their game, that wasn't the case with this one... not even close. Everything wasn’t horrifically painful, but let's just say I would have rather sat through a 24-hour Richard Simmons marathon than spend one more hour playing Eudemons.

I hate to bring this up again (I actually do), but I'd be remiss if I didn't mention it. I haven't been willing to subject another system to the same test, but after downloading the game from the Eudemons website and installing it, not only was I no longer able to update Windows, but my system was infected with a hefty dose of adware as well. I want to stress that I have not attempted to replicate the incident so I can't be 100% sure that Eudemons was the cause, but I feel that I'm morally obligated to mention it to players. I'll hope I'm wrong and simply move on.

Still empty!

Rather than make a Mage or Warrior, I decided to stick with my pixie-laden Paladin as I continued my search for the diamond in the rough that Eudemons desperately hoped to be. Unfortunately, this isn't The Wizard of Oz, we're not in Kansas, and no matter how many times I clicked my red ruby shoes together, the bad dream never ended.

After selling off the bounty of completely useless loot I had acquired over some past sessions, I decided to set out for an interesting looking teleport ring I had noticed earlier. Upon arriving, I stepped through and found myself in what appeared to be an impressively large dungeon. Finally, some action! I spent almost an hour scouring not only that level, but also the level below it, running over every square inch of that place. Imagine how happy I was when I realized there was nothing in there. I don't mean there were only a few mobs here and there; I mean quite literally, there was nothing there! I later found out it was an area set aside for players to mine in, but having a sign, or a guard there to mention something of the sort would have been a fantastic idea. Sadly for them, and their upcoming score, they failed to do either.

I'm sure there has to be another game I've played that made combat as insanely simplistic and mindless as Eudemons, but for the life of me, I can't think of any other right now. My two pixies were more fireball happy than Fizban with a bag full of guano and set flame to everything that moved within three feet of me. I appreciate the protection they provide, but in doing so, they've left me with something not very important to do... nothing.

Ever have a feeling that *you're* the pet?

Like last month's rant about the lack of any tutorial, I find myself once again wishing I wasn't joking. Once I assumed the role of puller, the levels began to fly by. Unfortunately to me, my pixies continued to out level me at the same pace they had before. The idea of playing a game in god mode is fun for about the first thirty minutes, if that. I play games to be engaged in battles, wrapped up in a story, or some combination of the two. Running around tagging mobs so my two pixies can make the battlefield look like the plains of hell in a matter of seconds is not my idea of a good time. If I wanted to have the game essentially play itself, I'd just load up Magic World Online and let the built in bot do it for me. Yeah, I'm still burned about that.

If you're going to make combat in a game so easy an underdeveloped muskrat would have the intelligence to play it, please do me the favor of at least giving me a little variety within different groups of targets. No matter where I went in Eudemons, all the mobs in that particular area were the same. Green giants, gnomes, or dragon kin, they were the only mobs in any area. How about mixing things up a little bit? Admittedly, it's always fun to kill gnomes, but come on now. I don't want to run around slaughtering the same mob repeatedly. If you don't feel like running to kill the same thing over and over, you also have the option of standing where you are. If you kill all the mobs in a single group, they'll all respawn immediately. You wouldn't believe just how fast you can level like that. It's sick.

Overall, Eudemons Online is not the game for me (or anyone else I personally know for that matter), but not everything about the game gave me the urge to physically throw myself out the window in hopes of ending the pain and suffering. The game had me beating my head on the desk on more than one occasion from the lack of anything resembling a clue when it came to a number of the icons scattered across my screen. This is where Eudemons' one note of purity rang through. There are (amazingly) a *lot* of players running around and with an overwhelming percentage, most of them are some of the most friendly and helpful people you could ever hope to meet in a game.

If you're looking for a confusing game, with the easiest combat ever discovered by man, tossed up with a grind through limited number of mobs, I say get help. If you don't want to do that, give Eudemons Online a try.

(1.5 / 5 Hammers)