Heavyweight Battle

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Daily Column [Graciously sponsored this week by Shay's Treehouse.]

Loading... It's like opening presents on Christmas morning, except you can do it every day.

I'm traveling to the land that modesty forgot tomorrow. Loading... may be late, non-existent or right on time depending on how my meetings in Las Vegas go. Normally Jeff or Cody would sit in as guest-host, but those two are off to Oslo to see Age of Conan up close and in person. If you don't see Loading... in your mailbox at the normal time do not despair, by next Monday everything will be back to semi-normal.

We haven't had a glut of great MMOG information like this since the golden age of 2004 when World of Warcraft and EverQuest 2 were firing volleys at each other in an attempt to win the hearts and minds of you, the MMOG aficionado. It only took four years, which is coincidentally the approximate gestation period of a MMOG, for our community to have another heavyweight fight.

There are four contenders. Age of Conan will exit the starting gate first and be quickly purchased by everyone who has been waiting four years for "something different". Rated 'M' it will get a lot of non-industry press, all bad, in which it will be blamed for the current state of the economy, the war effort, AIDS and Family Guy's recent lackluster writing. Jack Thompson will reappear, make an unintelligible statement in public, slap his own ass and return to his cave in the Appalachians where he will be interviewed as an "industry pundit" by the Wall Street Journal.

Industry press will quickly jump on the "bad dog" bandwagon hoping to feel important by agreeing with the New York Times. This makes it easy for true MMOG players to determine that they are communists. You know what to do.

Warhammer Online should hit your drive next. It is currently the favourite to come out the tail end of the battle with the most subscribers. Driven by the charismatic Paul Barnett and the pragmatic Jeff Hickman this title will take over the #2 spot on the MMOG Billboard Charts. Cries of Waaaaaagh! will be heard throughout North America and Europe. Cries of Waaaaaa will be heard in the Appalachians. PETA will rage against the machine that is EA-Mythic claiming that Goblins are animals and using Rosie O'Donnell as their proof.

Stargate Worlds will be pushed back to 2009. That is my prediction. I hope that it doesn't come true, but I've never missed, much. I dearly wish that this game is a success. I have rose-colored glasses on so don't let me down Cheyenne Mountain. One question, in a world of advanced civilizations that don't use money, how do we buy things?

The Agency gives you the ability to be a super-spy. Since I'm already one I don't see the appeal in doing it virtually, but you might. Cody seems to think that this is the best thing since Britney shaved her head. I'll have to let you decide. I'm just too close to the reality of this title to see it without undue prejudice, if you know what I mean baby! Yeah, baby, Yeah!

Do you feel the need to contact me? Your wish is my command. Forums or E-mail - The choice is yours!

13 new MMOG hand-crafted articles today! 129 so far in January! 129 so far in 2008!

New MMOG Articles At Ten Ton Hammer Today

Hot Content - Or, what I took a fancy to

MMOG News And Improved

Cryptic Studios New Developer For Star Trek Online?
Picard versus Batman
P2 Loses Grasp on Star Trek Online
Beam us up Scotty. There's no sign of a license here.
Age of Conan Beta Clarification
I'll be beta! - Ahnold

Need More? Look no further.

Real World News

Fire Family Saved By Trampoline
Interview when they stop bouncing.
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Workers bowled over by decision, may strike.
It's Wikipedia's Birthday
Happy 7th, 8th, 12th, F-U, 7th, 22nd birthday.

Thanks as always for visiting TenTonHammer.com

- John "Boomjack" Hoskin and the Ten Ton Hammer Team

Last Updated: Mar 13, 2016

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