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Daily Column

Loading... your daily MMOG laxative.

In what appears to be some sort of cosmic consciousness, or maybe because Talledega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby was on television recently, I received three e-mails yesterday asking why Loading... didn't have a sponsor. I picture it ending up something like this.

Should I auction this space off on EBay? Your message could go here for a low as $1.00. Red Bull, this is your chance to get back in my good books. My TenTonHammer soccer jerseys would also look good with a big sponsored by NVidia patch. Gold farmers, don't even think of it. I'll donate your sponsorship money to charity and point your link here.

Who else should bid on this colossal sponsorship opportunity? I've asked the agents for Kirstie Alley, Rosie O'Donnell and Vin Diesel, but none took up the torch. Tom Cruise's agent sent me a Scientology coffee table book, but I had to throw it out because it was wired. Tom on the other hand is still here. I just keep saying, "Didn't I make myself clear?" He keeps saying, "No" and jumping around on my couch.

Whether you sponsor me or not, I consider you all winners, but Karen says that some of you are bigger winners than others. Take it up with her in the forums. (NOTE: if you prefer RTS or FPS games to MMOGs, I consider you a whiner, not a winner.) Here are our latest contest winners. Congratulations!

"We challenged our forum community to rewrite the lyrics to popular holiday songs, making them about their favorite MMOGs. A number of creative folks rose to the challenge! The Ten Ton Hammer staff nominated their favorite entry from each forum, and a random drawing determined our three winners. Our first place winner receives a 6 month subscription to her favorite game, while our two runners up receive 3 months. Without further ado, here are the winners:

* First Place: Aerynne - Boomba the Freeport Ogre
* Runner Up: nutznboltz2007 - In My Guild, We Travel So Far
* Runner Up: Boex - Trengal Keep

Check out all the entries in our individual community forums:"

If MMOG are a religious experience are those songs now considered Psalms? MMOPs perhaps?

Jeff and Cody are in the land that modesty forgot covering the Consumer Electronics Show (CES). When they can drag themselves away from the craps tables, booze and epic sized buffets they are attending the largest gadget show outside of Tokyo. Some of their handiwork is linked below in the New MMOG Articles section. The Pirates of the Burning Sea ditty was especially informative.

I still don't grasp why many of you are so passionate about The Agency, but I'll do some research (Yeah right, just post you opinion in the forums. I'm not looking anything up.) Then again, when you are a James Bond type in real life, who needs to play a game about it?

Do you feel the need to contact me? Your wish is my command. Forums or E-mail - The choice is yours!

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13 new MMOG hand-crafted articles today! 77 so far in January! 77 so far in 2008!

New MMOG Articles At Ten Ton Hammer Today

• CES: The Agency - In-game Screenshots
• CES: EverQuest 2: Rise of Kunark CES Trailer
• CES: Pirates of the Burning Sea: Raiding and Player Skirmishes Are Coming!
• FusionFall: Website Gets A New Look - Closed Beta Starts
• Lord of the Rings Online: Impacting Changes - Guardian Update
• Stargate Worlds: Teaser Trailer
• Tabula Rasa: Guide To Fluxite Mines
• Tabula Rasa: Community Forum Q&A #4
• Ten Ton Wiki: Neocron 2, The Kingdom of the Winds and Oz World
• Vanguard: Interview With Producer, Thom Terrazas - Part 2 - Flying Mounts
• Warhammer Online: Tome of Knowledge FAQ
• World of Warcraft: Travel Guide Update
• World of Warcraft: Weekly Report - Issue 5 Holiday's End

Hot Content - Or, what I took a fancy to

1. Podcast: Game Over Now Live on Ten Ton Hammer
2. Vanguard: Interview With Producer, Thom Terrazas - Part 1 - The Riftway System

MMOG News And Improved

• Virtually Cheating On Your Spouse Will Piss Them Off
  Captain Obvious, clean up aisle MMOG.
• NCSoft is Making Another Game
  Dogs still bark. Fish still swim.
• Translating WoW Into a Tabletop Game
  Start painting you newbs!

Need More? Look no further.

Real World News

• Dog Shoots Hunter
  I fetch. You sniff my butt. That was the deal. You broke the deal.
• Newborns Visit Relatives As Cuddly Rice Bags
  Nothing says, "I love you" like a sack of carbs.
• 224,000 Fake Viagra Seized in France
  French men heard muttering, "I thought she said important, not impotent".

Thanks as always for visiting TenTonHammer.com

- John "Boomjack" Hoskin and the Ten Ton Hammer Team