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Daily Column

We have had a few people contact us reporting that we had been hacked. We have not. Apparently both CA EzTrust and McAfee are showing false positives on various websites around the Interweb. Thanks to Ars Technica for solving the mystery. Thanks to everyone who reported the problem. We appreciate your help! Thanks to CA and McAfee for hiring FPS (first person shooter) players in their development departments. MMOG players wouldn't have shipped botched products.

One special person even went so far as to send a message claiming ' Ten Ton Hammer Has Been Hacked' to every MMOG site on the planet. We weren't hacked, but if we were rest assured that I would be sending that same e-mail. There is nothing like a train wreck to boost viewer numbers. Just imagine it, pictures of Cody his mangled virtual body hanging from a mangled bar car, pieces of which are strewn across Norrazeroth! That's a story! The perp in this case has a blog read only by his mother that states proudly, "I buy gold; and I have been known to buy characters." His hidden agenda to bring down the MMOG establishment isn't so hidden now. Another RTS (real time strategy) player outed. Next!

Have you ever wished that you could feign death, fly on a griffin or hack a rat to death with a rusty dagger? What if real life were more like MMOGs? Our latest comic delves into one of the things that creeps me out about WoW.

I woke up with a headache this morning. The first person shooter (FPS) and real time strategy (RTS) communists must be sending cosmic rays back into my house. It's break out the tinfoil sombrero time. The misuse of science and magic is warping the natural world and driving up sales of tinfoil which reminds me of Requiem: Bloodymare,

"Gravity Interactive, developer and publisher of a wide variety of online games including both casual and hardcore MMOs, is bringing the bloody horror of Requiem: Bloodymare to the United States in early 2008. The title introduces a world where the misuse of science and magic has warped the natural world into a twisted vision of death.

Set in the world of Ethegia, players take on the role of the Temperions, beings created through genetic engineering and arcane rites to engage in bloody combat with the walking nightmares stalking the land.

Using the Havok engine, Requiem: Bloodymare brings to life a visually stunning realm where fallout from generations of scientific and mystical warfare has polluted the natural world and given birth to horribly mutated monsters. The battles between players and these grotesque creatures are rendered with intense sequences of bloody and gory graphics.

More information about the Requiem: Bloodymare can be found at http://www.playrequiem.com."

I originally had the following story in the MMOG News and Improved section, but it kept floating up to the column, so I let it stay. It was a like a stray dog, except I'm allergic to dogs, so I had to write the rest of the column with a "puffer" in my mouth. Puff, Puff, Tap, Tap.

Voodoo Extreme has been reading other sites again, stumbling upon a Eurogamer (most of them are communists) article that makes the wild claim that FunCom will tone down the German version of Age of Conan. No goose-stepping or extreme violence for the Germans. They're only one virtual bloodletting from another attempt at world domination.

Eurogamer (again mostly communists) had this to say,

"There's a concept known as l'espirit d'escalier, which describes those wonderful comebacks and phrases you think of the moment you walk out onto the steps after an encounter that didn't quite go as well as it might have."

I'm not sure if they are referring to a game, communism or simply slinging enormous foreign words around to confuse the FPS and RTS players, but I'm not going to bite. I've never been lacking in comebacks or phrases falling back upon "I know you are, but what am I" and "I'm rubber. You're glue. Bounces off me and sticks to you". L'espirit d'escalier sounds like a women's clothing store to me and I know I can't take seeing goose-stepping German males dressed as women. I get enough of that in Ironforge.

FPS, RTS and communists can voice there opinions here. Click this link.

MMOG players should comment in the Loading... forums.

Do you feel the need to contact me? Your wish is my command. Forums or E-mail - The choice is yours!

12 new MMOG hand-crafted articles today! 41 so far in January! 41 so far in 2008!

New MMOG Articles At Ten Ton Hammer Today

New MMOG Articles at Ten Ton Hamster (For those of you with children or spouses who act like one)

Virtual Spaces Partner to Market to Kid Games

Hot Content - Or, what I took a fancy to

MMOG News And Improved

MacWorld Reviews the EVE Online Mac Client
Boosting the list of Mac game reviews to two!
Disney Investing up to $100M in New Virtual Worlds
Every Disney movie is terrifying or sad. Virtual Orphanage should be a big hit.
Pirates of the Burning Sea Pre-Boarding Party Update
I'm sorry sir, you can't get on the ship WITHOUT a weapon or at least four ounces of a liquid. -- Homeland Security

Need More? Look no further.

Real World News

Snow-holers Using New 'Poo Chute'
For the love of all that is snow-holy!
Dentists Win Lacoste Crocodile Logo Battle
The dentists had more money to fight the case with.
'Stock' Beats 'Sex' In Chinese Keyword Searches
Why are they searching in English?

Thanks as always for visiting TenTonHammer.com

- John "Boomjack" Hoskin and the Ten Ton Hammer Team

Last Updated: Mar 13, 2016

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