Welcome to the 16th edition of Reloading…


Apparently, one of my Reloading articles pissed off PETA. Who the hell is PETA? I thought it was a type of Mediterranean sandwich? Well whoever they are, they are upset that I choked my now-dead pet turtle, Donotello. They are also upset that I fed him moldy pizza. I didn't feed him moldy pizza! The pizza became moldy after 3 weeks of him refusing to eat it. I also didn't choke him. He choked himself on the purple bandanna I gave him. How am I responsible for his emo attitude?

Tom Cruise

In addition to the accusations of abuse against my turtle, they are upset that my post contained the picture of the hideously beaten, mangled, and dis-configured dog seen to the right. I will give them this one, I really should be more responsible and not post images of animals beaten so badly you can no longer tell which species they are.

Note however that I said, “I should be more responsible”, and not that I actually will. With that in mind, lets take a look at some recent hideously beaten, and mangled animals!

WoW mount

Oh god! What is it? My eyes are burning! I haven't been able to keep my lunch down since this thing came out. How much nausea deaths can a single digital object caused? 867 adults have been confirmed to die after purchasing this item as a result of withdrawal because they can no longer afford their vice. In addition 4782 confirmed assisted-suicide cases have been filed across the country. When family & friends discover that someone they know spent “REAL MONEY” on this thing, they put them out of their misery. Finally, 382 child deaths have been reported as well, believed to have been caused by parents spending money on imaginary things instead baby food and formula. This is outrageous!

Senator Anthony Weiner has recently become involved in a scandal after the picture to the right was sent from his twitter account. Weiner claims that his Twitter account was hacked, but everyone is confused as to why Weiner won't definitively state rather or not this is a picture of him. Well, I'll clear up the confusion. The truth is, that this isn't a body part of Weiners, but actually a picture of Weiner as a baby. That's not underwear, it's his baby blanket! You see.... Weiner was born a Weiner! How was it not obvious?

Anyways, I'm off to get a new pet! I'm thinking of something awesome like a water dragon! I could totally implant a flame thrower into his throat to make him authentic! What kind of pet do you guys recommend? Hopefully I can find one that wont tick off these pita pocket people anymore.

Until next time,

Kevin "Arxkanite" Pitaeater

Latest MMOG Features

World of Warplanes Details Emerge at E3 2011

First insights into Wargaming.net newly revealed dogfighter, plus details on the future of World of Tanks' Clan Wars and much more fresh from E3 2011.

Star Trek: Infinite Space Preview from E3 2011

Built in the Unity Engine, ST:IS offers casual play with familiar characters from the Deep Space 9 era. We took a quick look at this year's E3.

OpEd: Why Blizzard Spurns E3

E3 is easily the largest and most anticipated industry event in North America each year. We take a closer look at why, once again, Blizzard Entertainment chose to sit this one out.
Latest MMOG News

EVE Online Service Resumes, No User Details Leaked

CCP joined the growing list of hacking targetted last night, Sony, Nintendo, Epic Games, Codemasters and Bethesda among them. Details on the attack, and who claimed responsibility, follow.

New Transformers MMO Details, Teaser from BotCon

This 2012 MMO will be an "action-focused" MMOG that allows players to craft their own Autobot or Decepticon. More details and the embed after the jump.

WoW: Blizzard Concludes 'Gnomeregan' Storyline

The hows and whys of the Gnomes terrible loss is the focus of the latest in Blizzard's series of short stories revolving around the World of Warcraft racial leaders.

E3 "Almost Like Being There" Swag Bag Giveaway

Win One of Two TERA Bags

Are you following TERA? (If not, check out the latest information from E3 to find out why you should be.)

We've got a swag giveaway direct from the TERA booth at E3. Two lucky premium members will win a TERA bag. And that's not all! The Ten Ton Hammer crew picked up plenty of cool stuff at E3 (stuff we'd love to keep, mind you, but we're giving it away 'cuz we're cool like that) and we'll throw a couple of surprise goodies into your TERA bag just for fun.

In addtion to the bag, will you receive a t-shirt, a mouse pad, or some other piece of gamer kitsch that will make you the envy of your friends? Submit to the whims of the Ten Ton Hammer Prize Fairy and find out for yourself.

Premium members, enter here. Not a premium member? become one today and tell the Prize Fairy how to find you!

NEW: PlayerScore Update 4.8.01 Released

Ten Ton Hammer has released a new version of PlayerScore, the must-have scoring addon for WoW Players. Most changes are to increase compatibility with WoW v4.2, and to fix a chain of recent bugs people have been reporting:

  • The addon has been modified to allow for simultaneous functioning on both WoW 4.1 (Live) and WoW 4.2 (PTR).
  • PvP GearScore's tooltip replaced the old out-dated PVE score's tooltip.
  • Fixed a bug where fury warrior's Equipped Average Item Level was always reporting 0
  • Updated the Raiding Difficult to include Firelands raids.
  • And much more!

Be among the first to download the update at playerscore.com.

Real World News

From the Mutant-Disease-Killing-Everyone Dept:

Mutant Strain is the Most Deadly Yet Found

From the Give-Me-Liberty Dept:

.N. Report Declares Internet Access a Human Right

From the Apple-Taking-Over-The-World Dept: 

iPad Flight Manuals Coming to a Paperless Cockpit Near You

Bruce Campbell Fact of the Day

Bruce Campbell once tweeted a picture of his chin. It caused more of a sensation than Weinergate.

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 © 2011 Ten Ton Hammer | 

Last Updated: Mar 13, 2016

About The Author

Jeff joined the Ten Ton Hammer team in 2004 covering EverQuest II, and he's had his hands on just about every PC online and multiplayer game he could since.