After failing to renew interest in its mega-flop "Windows Vista", a
spokesperson for Microsoft announced that its newest operating system
"Windows 7" has already been pre-canceled.

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Microsoft is
heading straight to Windows X.

"It is a bit of a risk, and we've lost some money, but in the end I
think we'll come out better for it." Explained a Microsoft official in
a candid interview. "In light of that whole "Mojave" debacle, we've
decided to throw in the towel and skip Windows versions 7, 8, AND 9,
going straight for Windows 10."

When asked what sparked the scraping of all current projects, we were
shown a copy of the box art for the newest incarnation of Windows.
"We're using the Roman Numeral "X" for ten. Think about how badass
that'll look." The Microsoft official smiled as he proudly displayed
the container. "RacerX, MalcomX, X-Files, X-Men, the X-Factor,
Generation X - it's a no-brainer. People like things that have an "X"
in them. It looks cooler. Hipper. And if we at Microsoft know anything,
it's how to be cool and hip."

Citing that computer users would much rather have a functional, easy to
use and affordable operating system that doesn't go obsolete every two
years only brought ire and irritation from the Microsoft fronts man.

"Blah blah blah. Look, we'll throw a new default wallpaper onto a build
of XP. Everyone knows how to use that right? The sheep will flock to it
because it is new and shiny, and we'll all be happy with no one the
wiser. The people get a stable operating system with a familiar
interface and we get gobs of money. It's a win-win situation." He
laughed as he spun in his office chair and once again thrust the
"Windows X" box at us while making a "cha-ching" sound.

When we pointed out that Windows XP still has numerous bugs, security
holes, and stability issues, the Microsoft Spokesperson had this to say:

"Dude. F*** you. Seriously. F*** you. That was low. Uncalled for even.
Goddamn MAC users."

Last Updated: Mar 13, 2016