While still largely contested and debated world-wide, the notion of
video game addiction has become a life threatening reality to one
unlucky Arkansas family after a young man was left in critical
condition earlier this week.

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Mrs. Timter
wasn't in any better condition than her son.

Local hospital officials state that sixteen year old Nicky Timter, a
freshman at Kusanhumpar High School is lucky to be alive after being
found largely unresponsive by his parents in their Hilton Heights
trailer home.

"We had read about people suing for video game addiction and stuff, but
we didn't think that we could ever make no money off of it. Then we
come home to our boy, rubbing them video games on his gums and puttin'
them up his nose like a junkie!" Explained the boy's mother as she
sobbed dramatically into the camera.

"Do you have any idea what chunks of plastic DS cartridges, or shards
of crushed up game discs can do to your body?" His mother asked
rhetorically through tear stained eyes before asking if she could give
a "shout-out" to her "baby-daddy".

"Anyone who doesn't think that video game addiction is real just needs
to look at our boy! We blame that Nintendo for giving him Coleco
visions and teaching him how to do this, and now we want our money!"
She screamed before being led away by local law enforcement officials
for several outstanding warrants.

The boy's physician Dr. Henry Alcome listed the boy's condition as
"stable" but noted that he will remain under strict supervision and
watchful eye. Declining to be interviewed further the doctor added that
aside from his apparent video game addiction, medically speaking, the
young man is "A f***ing retard."

Last Updated: Mar 13, 2016